Talking to the Moon
by LostInDisney
Summary: 'I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away.' Reid is grieving from the loss of his love. Spending another lonely night in his apartment, Reid starts to talk to the moon. Wishing that he could see Emily one more time, hold her one more time, talk to her one more time. Based on the song Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars. Story hopefully better than summary.


**AN – This is just a small oneshot, I wrote the other day. My muse kinda bit me with this one and wouldn't let go until I wrote it. I'm toying with maybe doing a series of oneshots based on songs, depends on the response to this really and if my muse likes the idea. This is based on a song by Bruno Mars called Talking to the Moon, it's of his doo-wops and hooligans album, it is a really beautiful song. So I hope you guys like it, oh yeah I don't own the song or Criminal Minds (unfortunately) So yeah I hope you guys like it, please rate and review.**

Talking to the Moon

_I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away,_

_I want you back, I want you back,_

_My neighbours think I'm crazy, but they don't understand_

_You're all I have, you're all I have…_

The clicking of the apartment door closing, disturbed the silence that took residence in the apartment. Mainly bathed in darkness, strips of light broke into the apartment, giving the whole place an eerie glow.

Spencer took slow steps through the living room, dropping his bag on the floor, along with other forgotten items. Books, photo's, chess pieces all cluttered the floor of his apartment. Despite the small size of the apartment, the whole place just felt lonely, cold and huge. Not the cozy, joyous home he was slowly getting used to.

Not bothering to flip on the light, he just stood in silence, his breath filling his ears. He leaned against the wall. If he stood here long enough he could pretend she was still here, pretend he could see her sitting cross legged on the sofa waiting for him to return to their unfinished chess game, he could pretend he could still hear her voice, that beautiful melodic laugh, the same one that sent his heart soaring when he heard it. Hell, he could pretend she was in his arms again. Safe. But she wasn't, she was gone. Taken from him, just when he was getting to learn how important she really was to him. Their time was snatched from them. So now he was here, alone, desperately trying to ignore the feeling that he was somehow drowning.

He closed his eyes, trying to reason with himself. _'She wouldn't want this for you, you know that, she'd want you to carry on living.' _He thought. _'Yeah, but that's easier said than done. She's not the one left here.' _

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself away from the wall. He headed over to the kitchen. Hating himself as he went. She had been gone for six months now, the others had all moved on. They carried on with their lives, yet here he was, stuck. Still struggling to get out of bed in the morning, still finding that every breath with out her hurt. His only joy came from the early morning, after just waking, for a moment he would forget that she was gone. He would think it was all one horrible dream. But then he'd wake up… He'd wake up and be alone.

He reached up to a top cupboard and pulled out one small glass, he also pulled forward a half empty bottle of scotch. Pouring it into the glass, He wandered what she thought of what he had become since her death. All he did was work. He rarely spent any social time with the team. Instead he would go to their places, the Smithsonian, the library, a small art gallery and also the park. Never her grave. That was one place he could never go. That was too final, like he'd be admitting she was really gone. He downed the scotch, feeling the alcohol slide down his throat. Taking the bottle he headed to his bedroom.

Again, the curtains blocked out some of the light, but some stars filled the room. Spencer walked to the window, observing the flawless night. The moon, so close he could touch it. Stars danced about in the sky, totally unaware of the loss he was feeling. Emily loved the night sky, she would spend hours, just watching. Listening intently as Spencer told her about the stars. It was times like that, that hurt him the most. Precious times that could never be replaced, time he would never forget. Her things were still scattered around the place, a random book mixed in with his, a brush left undisturbed on his dresser. Her clothes still in a wash basket on top of the washing machine, waiting to be given back to her.

Putting down his scotch and the bottle, he sat in the seat under the windowsill, if he took a deep enough breath he could still smell her. He looked up again at the stars, feeling them light his face.

"Emily." He whispered, pulling a blanket closer to him. "Emily, I need you." He felt a tear snake down his face.

He looked at the moon, like it would give him an answer. "Why did you have to go Em?" He wiped the tear away. "You promised." His voice was shaky. "You promised you wouldn't leave me." He rested his head against the cold glass of the window, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "Please come back, please… please… please." He repeated the word over and over, until each sound got mixed together on his tongue, his tears took over. He wanted her back, it wasn't fair, he needed her. Emily was everything to him and now he was left with nothing. Just her stuff, painful memories stored throughout his apartment. He tried to breath through his tears, hoping to get them under some form of control.

He looked back to the moon. "Please, send her back to me… Please give us more time… I just want to hold her, hear her voice. Please, I need her." He knew his request was never going to be granted, logically he knew that no one could hear him. He was just one desperate man among many, asking for the one he loved back. "Come back to me Em." He begged.

He closed his eyes, trying to imagine her voice. The soft voice she saved only for him. The voice that let him know she was being completely vulnerable with him. _"I never left you."_ was her soft reply.

Spencer's eyes shot open, taking in the empty room. He knew better than to answer her, but he couldn't resist. He needed to hear her voice. "Then why aren't you here?"

'_You know why, it was my time.'_

Once again, his attention turned to the moon in the night sky. "I know you don't believe in that stuff."

'_I keep an open mind,' _

"Emily, I miss you so much… Everything I do… I can't concentrate on anything or anyone. I need you." He cried.

'_I'm always here with you.' _

"It's not enough Emily, I need you in my arms again."

'_You can't stop living your life, just because mine ended.'_

"Then what do I do?" Spencer asked desperately.

'_You try to live.'_

Spencer took a shuddery breath. "Easier said than done," He muttered.

'_Spence, I know none of this makes sense. But please promise me you'll try to live. Talk to the team, they miss you.' She begged._

Spencer sobbed as he looked at the moon. "I… I love you Emily."

'_I love you. I'll never stop."_

"Then come back. If you love me, just come back… be here. I need you Emily… I need you." His spine shook with sobs.

'_I can't. My place is here now.'_

"And mines with you." Spencer argued through his tears.

'_I'm always going to be in your heart Spencer, I'll always be watching over you.'_

Spencer took another sip of his scotch. "Yeah but that's not enough."

'_I'm always going to be right here, in the stars. All you have to do is look.'_

"I don't want to be by myself talking to the moon."

'_I wish it could be different Spencer. Really I do.'_

"Why did you go in alone? You could have waited."

'_Then he'd of killed that girl.'_

"But you'd be okay."

'_You can't think like that. My life is no more important than hers.'_

"It is to me."

'_Please try to understand,'_

He was silent for a long moment, trying to blink away some of the tears. "I wish I could hold you."

'_I know. I wish I could hold you.'_

Spencer wrapped his arms around his waist. "I miss you, everyday."

'_Someday we'll be together again.'_

"Someday isn't right now."

'_Till then you have to carry on breathing, living.'_

"What about when I need you?"

'_I guess you have to think of me, I told you, I'll never leave you. Not for a minute."_

"You have left me though. I'm never going to see you again."

'_I wish I had all the answers Spence.'_

"I wish you did too." Spencer looked into his room, hoping he could find the source of Emily's voice. That it wasn't just his imagination. He was unsuccessful, his room was empty of any raven haired beauties. It was his imagination, Emily was dead. She wasn't here talking to him.

'_I love you, so much Spencer. I wish I could change things.'_

He rested his head on the back of the wall. The moon still shone bright in the sky. "I love her." He told it.

The moon said nothing in reply. He could no longer hear Emily's voice. Once again he was alone, with only the moon for company… The silent moon and its starry followers.

_At night when the stars light up my room I sit by myself,_

_Talking to the moon, tryin' get to you,_

_In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too_

_Or, am I a fool who sits alone,_

_Talking to the moon._


End file.
